


We Drank A Toast to Innocence

by Nashville12



Category: Daisy Jones & The Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:26:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27842956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nashville12/pseuds/Nashville12
Summary: It's been 10 years since Graham Dunne and Karen Sirko went their separate ways. When a holiday run in takes them both by surprise, how will they handle the feelings that never really left?
Relationships: Graham Dunne/Karen Karen
Comments: 7
Kudos: 5
Collections: Daisy Jones And The Six: A Christmas Anthology





	We Drank A Toast to Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> Christmas Playlist songs.
> 
> Same Old Lang Syne - Dan Fogelberg
> 
> Merry Christmas, Baby - Bruce Springsteen

______________  
  
 **Julia** : Did you ever see Karen again after the band broke up?  
  
  
 **Graham** : No. [Pauses] Well… once. It was about ten years after we split so that was what, ’89? It was Christmas eve eve, and it was the first year I wasn’t spending Christmas in Pitt with you guys. Jeanie and I had just gotten engaged and she wanted to spend it with her family in Tahoe, so I was at the store picking up some stuff she had forgotten to get, to make some of her pies. Like her caramel snickerdoodle pie.  
  
  
 **Julia** : Oh my God, that is my favorite. It is heaven.   
  
  
**Graham** : [Laughs] I know! Melt in your mouth delicious. Well I was searching everywhere for some damn caramel, and that's when I saw her. At the end of the aisle, looking at the different brands of sugar. She didn’t see me, so I almost just…walked away. But it was really good to see her. She looked the same. Well actually, she looked even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, and I felt that feeling in my gut that made it hard to breathe. She was magnetic, and I was the metal. So, at the risk of looking like an idiot, I walked over to her. Just to say hi.  
  
  
________________  
  
 **December 23 rd, 1989 – Ralphs – LA**  
  
  
 _“I would go for the pure cane sugar. Organic. Has the best flavor.” Graham spoke confidently as he walked towards Karen, and she continued to study the label on the bag of sugar in her hand as she said, “Hmm?”_  
  
  
 _“Sugar. It seems simple but… it’s complicated.” He leaned forward and his presence made her finally look up._  
  
 _  
“Oh my God, Graham! Hi!” She put the sugar down and surprised him as she threw her arms around his neck._  
  
 _He didn’t hug her back quick enough, so she pulled back awkwardly and cleared her throat as she said, “What… what are you doing here?”_  
  
 _Graham laughed softly._  
  
 _“Same as you. Shopping. Looking for some caramel, actually. I can’t find it anywhere.”_  
  
 _Karen smiled as she reached over him to the shelf behind him and pulled a jar from it._  
  
 _“I think this is what you’re looking for.”_  
  
 _Graham took it from her and laughed a short laugh, embarrassed and feeling his face heat up and turn bright red._  
  
 _“Thanks. I promise I really couldn’t find it. I wasn’t just…” He sighed. “I wasn’t just trying to find an excuse to say hi.”_  
  
 _He glanced up at her and she gave him a sympathetic smile as she touched him gently on the arm._  
  
 _  
“I’m glad you did. It’s been what? Five years?”_  
  
 _  
“Ten. But close enough.”_  
  
 _Karen laughed as she shook her head and whispered under her breath, “Wow… how has it been that long already?”_  
  
 _  
They stood there awkwardly in the middle of the aisle, neither one of them knowing what else to say, but neither one able to turn and leave._  
  
 _“You…you look good.” Graham pointed at her with the jar of caramel and Karen laughed softly as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear._  
  
 _“Thanks. So do you. You look... Happy.”_  
  
 _  
Graham nodded as a loud voice boomed out above them, announcing that the store would be closing in ten minutes and asking everyone to make their way to their nearest checkout stand._  
  
  
 _“I guess that’s us.” Karen said as she clicked her tongue and started moving backwards slowly towards her cart._  
  
  
 _“Yeah… I guess it is.”_  
  
 _“It was really good to see you, Graham.” Karen’s voice was serious, and he could have sworn he detected a hint of sadness in it._  
  
 _He nodded, but was frozen in place as he watched the woman he had loved so deeply all those years ago, start to walk away again._  
  
 _He stared and chuckled as Karen smiled and lifted up a bag of sugar._  
  
 _“Organic.”_  
  
 _She gave him a wink and nod as she turned her cart around and started to leave, when Graham found his voice again._  
  
 _“Karen!”_  
  
 _She stopped instantly, like she was just waiting for him to stop her. She turned to face him, biting her lip as she waited for whatever was coming next._  
  
  
 _“It’s been so long. It doesn’t feel… God, it doesn’t feel right to just say hi and bye in the sugar aisle.”_  
  
 _That made her laugh, which in turn made him laugh too._  
  
 _“What, not rock and roll enough for ya?” She gave him a big smile and he chuckled as he looked down at the ground._  
  
 _His face got serious as he looked at her again and shook his head._  
  
 _“I don’t… I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”_  
  
 _Karen’s face softened, and her eyes began to get glassy as she blinked the tears away quickly, trying to stop herself from crying in aisle five._  
  
 _“Me either, actually.”_  
  
 _Graham gave her a small smile._  
  
 _“Do you wanna get out of here? Track down some coffee?”_  
  
 _Karen smiled as she said, “Or booze. You know, whatever works.”_  
  
 _Graham laughed quietly as he turned to leave and nodded for her to follow. He grabbed a six pack of beer that was on a display towards the front of the store and Karen nodded in approval._  
  
  
 _When they had checked out, they stood in the middle of the almost empty parking lot awkwardly, not knowing what to do next._  
  
 _“So… do you want to sit out here? Or we could hang out in my car. Or yours! Yours is fine too. Or…”_  
  
  
 _“Karen. Breathe.” Graham chuckled as he watched Karen spin in circles as she tried to hide her nervousness._  
  
 _  
“How about we go to Griffith Park. I’ll meet you there and then we can drink and…catch up.”_  
  
 _Karen took a deep breath and nodded as she said, “Yeah, that’s a good plan. See you there?”_  
  
 _Graham nodded._  
  
 _“I’ll be right behind you.”_  
  
  


 _*****************_  
  
 _“Climb on in!” Graham reached across the passenger seat, opening the door for Karen who happily slid into his 1977 Cadillac Coup De Ville that was still in perfect condition._  
  
 _“You still have the Coup!” Karen exclaimed as she pulled the door shut and turned to face him, resting her back against it._  
  
 _“Well duh. You don’t just get rid of a beauty like this!”_  
  
 _They laughed softly and then sat in silence, looking everywhere but at each other._  
  
 _The six pack was sitting between them, and Karen broke the silence first, pulling a can as she said, “Fuck it, I need a drink.” She clicked open the can and Graham nodded as he did the same._  
  
 _They drank in silence.  
  
Then it was too quiet for too long.  
  
So Graham turned on the radio, hoping for a song to come on and lighten the mood. _  
  
_“ **Met my old lover at the grocery store** …” Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne" rang out, and Graham’s face turned bright red._  
  
 _“Yep, moving on.” He kept scanning the channels, but the only thing he found was static, commercials or more Dan Fogelberg._  
  
 _Graham muttered under his breath. “Are you fucking kidding me? Is this seriously the only song they can play right now? Good Lord!” He kept scanning and Karen burst into laughter._  
  
 _“Graham! It’s fine. We can listen to that song. Or nothing. It doesn’t matter to me.”_  
  
 _Graham sighed as he sat back against his seat and let the song play.  
  
The windows were starting to fog up, so he blasted the defrost and the car immediately got boiling hot. _  
  
_Karen rolled down her window and stuck her head out, trying to get some fresh air, and_ _Graham rubbed his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose as the song finished and he shut off the radio._  
  
 _  
“Do you wanna take a walk? Through the park? Because let’s face it. This is awkward.” He gave her a pleading look and she nodded._  
  
  
 _The park was lit with sparkling Christmas lights all throughout. It felt like a magical wonderland, and they walked the path slowly, sipping their beer and falling into a comfortable silence._  
  
 _After they had walked for a while, they found a park bench and decided to sit for a bit._  
  
  
 _“So… what’s been new with you, Karen? What are you doing now?” Graham took another sip of his beer as Karen tucked her hands into her sleeves and blew out a long breath._  
  
 _“I’m actually still touring. Yeah, I am kind of a floater. I go wherever the label sends me for whatever band, group, duo, etcetera, needs me. I uh, just got off the road after spending a year with this band called “Bad English”. Don’t know if you know any of their stuff. But that was pretty great.”_  
  
 _Graham’s eyes got wide._  
  
 _“Bad English as in the band that brought some of the greats together? Neil Shon, John Waite?”_  
  
  
 _Karen nodded as he spoke, adding in, “Jonathan Cain… yep. Those guys.”_  
  
 _Graham sat back against the bench._  
  
 _“Wow. That’s really cool. I mean, John is no Billy Dunne but... he's aight."_  
  
 _Karen laughed as she took another sip of beer._  
  
 _“ Touché. It was a lot of fun though. But get this, I’m about to go on tour next year with this new group. Totally new to me, out of my comfort zone, nothing like I’ve ever done before. But I thought it would be good to challenge myself in the new year and decade.”_  
  
 _“Who is it?” Graham bounced his legs and crossed his arms, splashing his beer slightly as he did. It was getting late and cold, but they didn’t want to leave yet._  
  
  
 _“This new group that just formed, called Boys to Men. But the Boys is with a Z and the two is the roman numeral for two. So it’s like two lines.”_  
  
 _Graham laughed._  
  
 _“Oh wow. So… do you think they’re any good? Are they going to make it?”_  
  
 _Karen shrugged._  
  
 _“Time will tell, I guess. But I like them and I’m not a big R &B girl so… I think it’s promising.”_  
  
 _  
Graham nodded as he sat back again and forced out the one question he had been wanting to know since he laid eyes on her at the grocery store._  
  
 _“Are you… are you seeing anyone?”_  
  
 _Karen set her beer down between them and crossed her arms for warmth._  
  
 _“Yeah, I date. I guess you could say I’m “seeing” someone. Jonathan, actually.” She looked up and towards the exit as she uncrossed her arms and sat on her hands, bouncing her legs._  
  
 _“But we’re keeping it pretty casual. He knows I don’t commi-” Her words trailed off when she saw Graham’s face drop as he nodded._  
  
 _“Hey, well at least now you know it wasn’t just you!” She laughed nervously and tried to lighten the mood, but Graham just stared at the ground awkwardly._  
  
 _  
Karen cleared her throat and said, “What about you? Any lucky girl replaced me yet?” She nudged his body with hers, and he smiled sadly._  
  
 _He looked over at her and whispered, “No one could ever replace you, Karen.”_  
  
 _Her face softened as her eyes began to well again. She looked away from him and cleared her throat again as she wiped her eyes quickly, forcing a smile back on her face as she looked back at him._  
  
 _“That wasn’t the question, you dork! Tell me!”_  
  
 _Graham smiled as he sat up straighter._  
  
 _“I am. Her name is Jeanie. She’s a teacher so she is probably the most stable person I know. She doesn't play any instruments, She has two sisters, and she had never heard of The Six before because she’s more of a showtunes kind of girl. She loves kids and wants to have a whole house full…”  
  
Karen’s face dropped, and Graham’s voice hitched as he said, “Sorry.”_  
  
 _Karen waved him off as she tried to speak through the lump in her throat._  
  
 _“No, no, I’m fine. That’s great! Really. She sounds great. Don’t let her get away.” She slapped him on the arm and Graham let out a chuckle as he rubbed the spot she hit._  
  
 _“We’re uh… we’re engaged, actually. Getting married next June.”_  
  
 _He watched as Karen winced slightly, subtly, but enough for him to notice and only for a moment before she was fake smiling again._  
  
 _“Well then… congratulations! I’m so happy for you.” She reached over and hugged him, and this time he hugged her back.  
  
She held him tight, soaking in the warmth of him and the scent that was so Graham. Citrus and pine. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks and this time, she didn’t stop them._  
  
 _  
When she pulled away, she saw that he was crying too, and they both laughed at the sight of each other._  
  
  
 _“Gahhh! We’re such a mess!” Karen laughed as she wiped her eyes with her fingers._  
  
  
 _“I know, we’re getting old.”_  
  
 _  
“Hey, speak for yourself!” Karen nudged him again with her leg and he laughed back._  
  
  
 _Karen got serious as she asked, "How’s Billy? Camila? The girls?”_  
  
  
 _“They’re all good. In Pittsburgh for the holidays. They always spend Christmas with Camila’s family. The girls are all teens now. Julia just got her license, and the twins are thirteen.”_  
  
 _Karen’s mouth dropped._  
  
 _“No!”_  
  
 _“I know, right?”_  
  
 _“They were just teeny tiny babies like yesterday!”_  
  
  
 _Graham nodded as he beamed with pride._  
  
 _“Now Julia is dating some guy named Greg, which trust me, was not lost on Billy and Camila. I hate him, but she’s “in love” so… whatever, I guess.”_  
  
 _Karen raised an eyebrow in confusion._  
  
 _“Wait, what am I missing here? What about Greg?”_  
  
 _Graham shook his head._  
  
 _“Never mind. It’s nothing.”_  
  
 _He shuffled his feet underneath him as he continued._  
  
 _“I’m actually… now don’t laugh, but I’ve... started a hot sauce business.”_  
  
 _Karen looked down at the ground as she started to laugh softly._  
  
 _“Hey, I told you not to laugh!”_  
  
 _That only made her laugh harder, but she waved her hand as she collected herself._  
  
 _“No, I’m not laughing about that. I’m laughing because I already knew that. ‘Dunne Burnt Your Tongue Off’, right?”_  
  
 _Graham looked at her in shock._  
  
 _“Dunne Burnt My Tongue Off, but yeah! Damn, you knew that?”_  
  
 _Karen nodded as her face dropped slightly._  
  
 _“I never go anywhere without it. Your chipotle lime is to die for.”_  
  
 _Graham’s mouth dropped._  
  
 _“Wow… I will… send you a box. Thanks for… the support. That means a lot.”_  
  
 _  
“I’ve always been your biggest fan, Graham. That never went away just because we did.” Karen's voice was sad and sincere._  
  
 _Graham clenched his jaw as they sat in silence again._  
  
 _They both reached for the last two cans of beer, cracking them together as Karen lifted hers in the air and said, “Let’s toast too… what was. Us. The good, bad and the rest, and to an amazing new year.”_  
  
 _Graham tapped her can with his as he said, “Cheers.”_  
  
 _  
They finished off the last of their beer and Karen let out a long, guttural belch._  
  
 _Graham's eyes got wide as he said, “Damn, woman. That’s impressive. I forgot you could do that.”_  
  
 _Karen wiped her mouth and smiled as she stood up and curtsied._  
  
 _“Thank you, thank you. I’d like to thank the academy, and my mother and…”_  
  
 _Graham let out a deep belly laugh as he threw his crumpled up can at her and she dodged it easily._  
  
 _“Heyyy!” She giggled as she picked up the can, throwing it back at him before taking off running down the path back towards their cars._  
  
 _“Ohh no you don’t.” Graham jumped up and chased after her, which caused her to scream through her laughs._  
  
 _It was seriously late by this point, and the park was deserted, which Graham was thankful for because the way Karen was screaming and the way he was chasing her, he definitely would have been arrested by somebody who got the wrong idea._  
  
  
 _He caught up with her just under the entrance archway that was lit up with white lights and garland. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and picked her up as she laughed and screamed and playfully slapped his arms._  
  
 _He put her down and spun her around and she grabbed his arms to steady herself._  
  
 _They stared at each other in the soft glow of the Christmas lights. They were breathing heavily but they didn’t know if it was from their run or from how close they were to each other. Their breath was creating a cloud of smoke in front of them, and time stood still in that moment._  
  
 _“I…uh… I guess I should…probably get…going…” Graham whispered as he continued to stare into her eyes. The eyes that he had missed more than he even realized._  
  
 _Karen nodded slowly, not taking her eyes off of him either._  
  
 _“Yeah…probably. But first… did you notice?”_  
  
 _Graham cocked his head to the side as his face morphed curiously._  
  
 _Karen smiled into a laugh as she looked up._  
  
 _Mistletoe._  
  
 _“I mean… it is a tradition.” Graham said as he looked at the mistletoe and then back at Karen._  
  
 _“For old times sake?” She whispered hesitantly, afraid he would say no._  
  
 _Graham looked at her worried face and slid his hands along her cheeks, resting his them behind her ears and wiping a single tear that had slipped from her eye with his thumb._  
  
 _Without saying a word, he bent down and kissed her. Softly at first, until she wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to him, a desperation rising inside of her._  
  
 _He kissed her back with the same intensity she was giving him. Every kiss healing all of the deep seated wounds in his heart that he now realized had never fully healed._  
  
 _He pulled back, breathless, snapping Karen out of her trance as her eyes shot open._  
  
 _She smiled nervously as she brought her fingers to her lips, feeling them swell beneath her._  
  
 _“Sorry…”_  
  
 _Graham shook his head as he rubbed her arms up and down._  
  
 _“No, no…that was… perfect. I missed you, Karen. A lot.”_  
  
 _Karen looked up at him as her quiet voice pushed out the words, “But it wasn’t the same, was it?”_  
  
 _Graham took a deep breath, exhaling slowly._  
  
 _“It was everything it should have been. It was perfect. I… needed that.”_  
  
 _Karen nodded as she sniffed._  
  
 _“Me too. But I can tell. You love her now.” She smiled as wide as she could muster, doing her best to hide her sadness._  
  
 _“I do.” Graham’s voice was low and quiet as he continued. “But… you will always have a special place in my heart, Karen Karen.”_  
  
 _Karen laughed softly at her nickname, before standing on her tip toes and kissing him softly on the cheek._  
  
 _“You too, Dunne. You look… happy.”_  
  
 _Graham smiled._  
  
 _“I am.”_  
  
 _Karen nodded as she slipped her hands in her pockets._  
  
 _“Good. You deserve all of the happiness this world can give you.”_  
  
  
 _As they slowly walked back to their cars, small snow flurries started falling all around them._  
  
 _They both looked up to the sky and Karen started laughing as she put her hand out._  
  
 _“Snow! In LA! This really is a crazy night.”_  
  
 _Graham continued to his car and as he opened the door, he paused._  
  
 _“Hey Karen, are you happy?”_  
  
 _Karen smiled a small smile as she said, “Merry Christmas, Graham. And don’t take ten years to run into me at the grocery store again, ok?”_  
  
 _Graham laughed as he shook his head and slid into his car._  
  
 _As soon as he started the car, the radio kicked on and Bruce Springsteen’s “Merry Christmas, Baby” was blaring._  
  
 _Graham honked his horn and motioned for Karen to roll down her window. He reached across the passenger seat, cranking the window down as fast as he could so she could hear him._  
  
 _“100.3. Much better song to leave with than that first one.” He gave her a wink and she quickly turned the dial to Bruce singing, “… **and I feel just like I wanna kiss you… underneath the mistletoe-o-o-o-e**.”_  
  
 _Karen laughed as she flipped him the bird._  
  
 _She pulled out first and he watched her taillights disappear, surprising himself at how he felt… happy. He had gotten the closure he never even knew he needed, and that was the best gift he could have ever asked for._  
  
 _He put the car in reverse and headed home, his jar of caramel sitting in a bag next to him, representing a life and future that he was more excited than ever to start now._  
  
 _It really was going to be a very merry Christmas after all._  
  
__________________  
  
  
 **Julia** : Have you seen Karen Sirko since that night?  
  
  
 **Graham** : Once, from a distance. She was with a guy and I didn’t want to interrupt, but she looked happy. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. But I did keep my word and sent her a big box of my hot sauce. [Smiles]  
  
  
 **Julia** : Are you happy with the way things turned out?  
  
  
 **Karen** : I am. I have stayed true to myself and I am proud of the choices I’ve made in life. They were mine and mine alone, and I stand by them. But… if you look back on your life and you don’t have any regrets at all, then I think you’ve never really lived. So am I happy? Yes. Do I ever wonder what could have been with me and Graham? Every damn day of my life. But that just means I’ve lived enough to have regrets, and I can live with that.  
  



End file.
